I have so many thoughts swirling around in my brain today. And I'm trying to figure out what they all mean. I think there may be a bit of me that is letting my "sphere of concern" get bigger than my "sphere of influence." So that I'm worried about things I can do absolutely nothing about.
But with the internet making the world smaller, I can do so much about so much more than I used to be able to. But here's the question - what should I be doing with my time now? And how? And what should my sphere of influence be? So much of the time I end up paralyzed. I will admit that I spend far too much time on the computer or reading - and sometimes it's just because the choices ahead of me are so overwhelming. And there is so much to do just here in my own corner that I don't know where to start. I feel overwhelmed by keeping up on my housework, let alone saving the world. And then you get those who tell you to forget the housework and enjoy your family. Well, it's hard to enjoy them if you can't find them under all the clutter! So I keep chipping away, and trying to pat myself on the back when the main floor is kept up. And trying to enjoy my family at the same time.
But then - there is a boy at our school in third grade with terminal cancer. We have all tried to help with the load. And they keep on finding laughter in everyday. This family has handled the whole thing with more grace than I can imagine. They are a beautiful example.
And an old friend whose blog I read has just found out that her father's cancer is progressing far more quickly than they thought. Her mother is dealing with dementia and he is her primary care giver. She is far away, though going out to be with them.
And Haiti is still in rubble and Australia is flooded, and why haven't we heard how they are recovering after those floods last year in Pakistan?
And then my daughter - who has been sitting alone in her room listening to a book on tape - wants a big family project because she's not feeling as close to the rest of us as she would like. (I'm not taking responsibility for that one, as she's been choosing to sit up there by herself.) She also wants to put on a play and walk to raise money for some cause, and, and, and. . . (All of which will involve her mother TO THE MAX if she's to pull it off.)
But just after that I read about this mother who took her kids to help at an orphanage in Thailand for three weeks. And articles about intentional mothering. And meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have a kid getting over strep, a class to get ready for, cookies to make and a present to finish for a wedding reception (missing the wedding because of school and needing to be home while the sick kid finishes up his 24 hours on anibiotics before he can go to school! Missing this big day is breaking my heart), two Christmas packages still not mailed, sharing time and sharing time choosing sticks to get together, a crib to drop off, A child I need to help with fund raising because she desperately wants to go on a band trip and all the family money is tied up in Mom's grad school classes or other important things, A child with a huge birthday next week, VISITING TEACHING, and oh, by the way, chat n chew, that I'm in charge of needs to start soon, my parents are coming through on their way to their mission in a little over a week, and my hair is driving me nuts because I really need a hair cut. WHEW. (And somewhere in here with sun shining through sparkling clean windows I'll take brilliant pictures of my family that I put in the world's cutest scrapbooks and everyone will have clean, folded, ironed clothes, I'll exercise everyday, read my scriptures, and have planned (and, sure, why not, cooked AHEAD), healthy menus that have variety and add joy to my life.) There is more to my actual list, but my head is full. I think it's pizza night.
One friend a couple of weeks ago looked at me and shook her head. "Too busy. Too many things going on." That might just be true. The truth is, if I were more organized and proactive I can handle what I've got. I've just got to get in there and "get'r done" Priorities. And more doing. Less thinking. I'll go do now.
341. Here are a few posts that make me smile. I'll leave you to read them while I go try to get unbusy by quickly knocking four or five things off my to do list.
I read this and felt the need for routine!
The Beauty of Routines
Then I read this, and laughed, and knew we were all alike.
Don't Get Cocky
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