152. Jokes. I spent way too much time yesterday reading writing blogs. Getting all sorts of inspiration, but not doing what I should be doing, which is writing! But one agent site was having a contest (closed the day before I found it) that offered a critique as a prize for the best clean joke left in the comments. I'll share two or three that made me laugh out loud.
1. "Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
An udder disaster!"
-Lance
I know. Corny. But my kids will like it. This next one made my day.
2. "A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."
-Mary-Anna Fragen Stalnake
3. And Julie Page Morgan sent this one in saying her brother thought it was the best joke of 2009.
Two women were sitting together quietly.
I know. I know. A stereotype. But it still made me giggle.
Anyone out there have a family friendly joke or two that tickle your funny bone? Post them below!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Clothing
150. Muddy Shoes. This weekend felt like spring! And the kids played and played outside. After they were done they had to stand on the back porch, leaning over the lawn, and scrape off their muddy shoes with spoons. It was so good to be outside.
151. Sunglasses. I needed them today. This
was the color of the sky. (I like the moon caught in the branches.) I took a picture to help me remember it when the next cold front rolls in later this week.
Today was so nice that the S-Train and I vacumned the car and joined the crowd at the car wash. Later we ran all the way to school to pick up the kids. (Me in jeans!) He set the pace and I kept up. He actually paced himself with breathing that sounded like Whuu- Haa Whuu-Haa. (I think he's set to coach his wife one day. Or run a marathon.) We felt so heathy and happy to have the sun shining down on our heads and that dazzling/beautiful/robin's egg/gorgeous blue sky above us. Oh what a sunny day in January can do!
151. Sunglasses. I needed them today. This
was the color of the sky. (I like the moon caught in the branches.) I took a picture to help me remember it when the next cold front rolls in later this week.
Today was so nice that the S-Train and I vacumned the car and joined the crowd at the car wash. Later we ran all the way to school to pick up the kids. (Me in jeans!) He set the pace and I kept up. He actually paced himself with breathing that sounded like Whuu- Haa Whuu-Haa. (I think he's set to coach his wife one day. Or run a marathon.) We felt so heathy and happy to have the sun shining down on our heads and that dazzling/beautiful/robin's egg/gorgeous blue sky above us. Oh what a sunny day in January can do!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Beautiful Sparkling Things
147. Primary. An amazing video today to help the kids learn a song. This is the power of technology used right. Friends helped from far away to make the video. It was very beautiful.
And Mr. C did a great sharing time for us. Name that tune to help us think of the ways we are loved by our Father in Heaven. It was great to sing a few songs that aren't sung so much any more. The adults enjoyed it as much as the kids. And singing with a group always feels so good. Mostly we talked about how we are given this amazing world to live on.
I think there is so much to discover and see that the more we learn about where we live the more fascinating it becomes. Could we ever learn the end of it?
148. Sparkling Birthday Tiaras. H gave it to me for my birthday. It's making the rounds. There are lots of January birthdays! We are having great celebrations. And a good friend of ours was a good sport when the children asked him if he would wear it for his birthday.
149. Hula Hoops. We have a new one at our house. It's blue and sparkly. The kids are already getting good at it. They are practicing getting it from one part of their body to another. Great fun!
And Mr. C did a great sharing time for us. Name that tune to help us think of the ways we are loved by our Father in Heaven. It was great to sing a few songs that aren't sung so much any more. The adults enjoyed it as much as the kids. And singing with a group always feels so good. Mostly we talked about how we are given this amazing world to live on.
I think there is so much to discover and see that the more we learn about where we live the more fascinating it becomes. Could we ever learn the end of it?
148. Sparkling Birthday Tiaras. H gave it to me for my birthday. It's making the rounds. There are lots of January birthdays! We are having great celebrations. And a good friend of ours was a good sport when the children asked him if he would wear it for his birthday.
149. Hula Hoops. We have a new one at our house. It's blue and sparkly. The kids are already getting good at it. They are practicing getting it from one part of their body to another. Great fun!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Outer Space and Inner Space
145. The Star Trek Movie. Mr. C and I watched the movie a little while ago. The scene where Kirk is having an allergic reaction while trying to warn the ship about a trap cracks me up every time I think of it. His hands are swollen up like surgeon balloon gloves, his tongue is going numb, and McCoy keeps shooting him in the neck with another medicine, saying things like, "Numb tongue? I can fix that!" Also - the hobbit as Scottie is very funny. Some great lines. "I like this ship! It's very exciting!"
146. Critique Group. Another meeting. More inspiration. We shared writing goals and voted on a name. We are now Kindred Scribes. Thanks for the name, D! Then we went over the last chapters in H's book. I'll share links when it gets published. It's a cute, funny book. When it comes out, you really should buy it for the middle grade kid in your life. H was so generous with her home and her time, and gave out extravagant prizes just for fun. (It needs to be her turn next!) It is really a terrific time to be together and inspire each other. I'm so blessed to know these sweet ladies!
146. Critique Group. Another meeting. More inspiration. We shared writing goals and voted on a name. We are now Kindred Scribes. Thanks for the name, D! Then we went over the last chapters in H's book. I'll share links when it gets published. It's a cute, funny book. When it comes out, you really should buy it for the middle grade kid in your life. H was so generous with her home and her time, and gave out extravagant prizes just for fun. (It needs to be her turn next!) It is really a terrific time to be together and inspire each other. I'm so blessed to know these sweet ladies!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Winter Productivity
The weatherman last night said he didn't think we'd see the sun for the REST OF THE WEEK. So I'm going to have to dig deep here people.
143. Taking Pictures. Even when we've hit the brown snow phase, there are cool pictures to be taken.
144. Productive Days. Yesterday we had a family project. Clean the basement. Then we had family home evening. (Yes, everyone got up late because of the holiday, and then keeping everyone going til the end - including myself - took the rest of the day.) The basement is done. Things are taken to Goodwill and there's only one giant box left to take away. The shelves look positively happy to be straightened up. I really should have taken before and after shots. It's very dramatic. Before - a thin thread to get back to the laundry. After - nothing in the middle of the floor.
We played scattergories for our game that night. The S-Train would write down as many words as he could think of to go with the letter rolled. He could write down 8-10 in the time allowed. I was very impressed.
143. Taking Pictures. Even when we've hit the brown snow phase, there are cool pictures to be taken.
144. Productive Days. Yesterday we had a family project. Clean the basement. Then we had family home evening. (Yes, everyone got up late because of the holiday, and then keeping everyone going til the end - including myself - took the rest of the day.) The basement is done. Things are taken to Goodwill and there's only one giant box left to take away. The shelves look positively happy to be straightened up. I really should have taken before and after shots. It's very dramatic. Before - a thin thread to get back to the laundry. After - nothing in the middle of the floor.
We played scattergories for our game that night. The S-Train would write down as many words as he could think of to go with the letter rolled. He could write down 8-10 in the time allowed. I was very impressed.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Double Duty
142. A husband who takes other people's children home from church and feeds the multitudes so I can have a presidency meeting. When we got back to our house he was doing the dishes, and had dinner ready for us to sit and eat. He made a great dinner, cleaned up, and had other people's children, all without batting an eye. When I asked him about doing it he just said, "Sure." Thanks sweetheart. We feel all loved and everything. You're awesome!
Present and Past Family History
140. Creative Children. All those Christmas presents? Who needs 'em! All we really need is paper, markers and scissors for a really good time. Oh, and I almost forgot tape. Lots and lots of tape. The spy theme lives on!
141. An essay by my grandmother. I was reading through a book of her writing today. It made me laugh.
Our attic and basement and all the nooks and cranies and spaces in between are full of stuff, brimming full. But the one thing we throw away, we need almost immediately.
I had lids of butter tubs piling up all over, so I counted and threw a bunch away. Now we can't find enough lids for those butter tubs. We use them to store meal-sized portions of food in the deep freeze. Some of the lids we have are stretching. I need more lids.
I threw out our old teacher's certificates for the state of Utah. The next year Alpine District offered a raise in pay - another step up on the salary schedule - for those who had taught for fifteen years and had twenty extra hours of college credit. We both qualified. but we had to prove we had been certified teachers for that long. And I had thrown away our old teacher's certificates.
We went to the state board offices to see if we could get copies of the old certificates. This was in the days before duplicators. They had the copies in their files, but could not lend them for us to copy. The district demanded a copy. After about three trips to Salt Lake, we got them to sign a paper, saying we had held teacher's certificates at that time. It worked.
I could go on and on. If you want to know if something is valuable, put it away. You'll never need it again.
141. An essay by my grandmother. I was reading through a book of her writing today. It made me laugh.
L-----'s Law
If you want to know if something is valuable or not, just throw it away. You will need it almost immediately.Our attic and basement and all the nooks and cranies and spaces in between are full of stuff, brimming full. But the one thing we throw away, we need almost immediately.
I had lids of butter tubs piling up all over, so I counted and threw a bunch away. Now we can't find enough lids for those butter tubs. We use them to store meal-sized portions of food in the deep freeze. Some of the lids we have are stretching. I need more lids.
I threw out our old teacher's certificates for the state of Utah. The next year Alpine District offered a raise in pay - another step up on the salary schedule - for those who had taught for fifteen years and had twenty extra hours of college credit. We both qualified. but we had to prove we had been certified teachers for that long. And I had thrown away our old teacher's certificates.
We went to the state board offices to see if we could get copies of the old certificates. This was in the days before duplicators. They had the copies in their files, but could not lend them for us to copy. The district demanded a copy. After about three trips to Salt Lake, we got them to sign a paper, saying we had held teacher's certificates at that time. It worked.
I could go on and on. If you want to know if something is valuable, put it away. You'll never need it again.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Writing Conference
139. trying out a link Susan Uhlig
Went to a writing conference today. They talked about social media, and I learned to put links in. I also learned a heck of a lot about twitter. I might even use it sometime. Anyone out there tweet?
Also, lunch with awesome ladies. One had a great story about how God has been intervening in her life, once she was ready to jump in and follow where He led. Love these great ladies. Being with them makes me happy.
Went to a writing conference today. They talked about social media, and I learned to put links in. I also learned a heck of a lot about twitter. I might even use it sometime. Anyone out there tweet?
Also, lunch with awesome ladies. One had a great story about how God has been intervening in her life, once she was ready to jump in and follow where He led. Love these great ladies. Being with them makes me happy.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Winter Happenings
It's an open secret around here. It has been Gray. And you know what that means. It means I am trying very hard not to grumble at the skies. And working hard to find things that make me smile. At least we have SNOW. Cold with new snow is FUN. Cold (and it has been COLD.) with gray and no snow is NOT SO FUN.
133. Helping bring down Krispy Kreme's profit margin.
Did you know that for every A you get on your report card, Krispy Kreme will give you a doughnut? It's a good thing they limit it to half a dozen per child. If they didn't, kids like mine would run them out of business. We are still having trouble with backwards 2's in Kindergarten. But all things considered, I'd say that's not bad.
134. Winning Contests Uncontested. The Unnamed oldest won first place for poetry in the SMAC citizenship contest. The theme was Obama's inauguration. She gets to read her poem at a reception. She entered because it was extra credit in English. She was the only poetry entry in her grade at her school. Two of her friends entered the essay category. They got first and second. They were the only two entries in that category from their school. It just goes to show, you can't win what you don't enter.
135. Band and strings concerts. They had a school wide band, strings, choir concert. Great fun. Sue and Lou both played and Sue sang with the choir. They did a great job.
And in slightly older news...
135. Walking out of the mist to rescue the hysterical children. This doesn't look as good here as I imagined it. I saw it actually in slow motion as a movie scene. I might work on it a bit more. To the rescue!...
136. Snow Days. And snow forts. And Tunnels. And sledding on hills with no sleds. And coming in pink cheeked from the cold. And drinking hot chocolate.
137. Drinking hot chocolate. Are you looking at me?
138. Singing in Church. They were asked the same week they sang, and it turned out beautifully. Thanks to Sister G for her great help on the piano.
That's all for now. Got to get back to putting away Christmas. I know I'm late! The house is crazy and I'll be gone most of the day tomorrow. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
133. Helping bring down Krispy Kreme's profit margin.
Did you know that for every A you get on your report card, Krispy Kreme will give you a doughnut? It's a good thing they limit it to half a dozen per child. If they didn't, kids like mine would run them out of business. We are still having trouble with backwards 2's in Kindergarten. But all things considered, I'd say that's not bad.
134. Winning Contests Uncontested. The Unnamed oldest won first place for poetry in the SMAC citizenship contest. The theme was Obama's inauguration. She gets to read her poem at a reception. She entered because it was extra credit in English. She was the only poetry entry in her grade at her school. Two of her friends entered the essay category. They got first and second. They were the only two entries in that category from their school. It just goes to show, you can't win what you don't enter.
135. Band and strings concerts. They had a school wide band, strings, choir concert. Great fun. Sue and Lou both played and Sue sang with the choir. They did a great job.
And in slightly older news...
135. Walking out of the mist to rescue the hysterical children. This doesn't look as good here as I imagined it. I saw it actually in slow motion as a movie scene. I might work on it a bit more. To the rescue!...
136. Snow Days. And snow forts. And Tunnels. And sledding on hills with no sleds. And coming in pink cheeked from the cold. And drinking hot chocolate.
137. Drinking hot chocolate. Are you looking at me?
138. Singing in Church. They were asked the same week they sang, and it turned out beautifully. Thanks to Sister G for her great help on the piano.
That's all for now. Got to get back to putting away Christmas. I know I'm late! The house is crazy and I'll be gone most of the day tomorrow. I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Poetry to promote good Karma
129. A Poem. I wrote this one during Nanowrimo. In the middle of the night. At the end of a long day. Today is a snow day. (Even though it hasn't started snowing!!!) I think it'll be fun! After I publish this and get cleaned up, we're off to the library.
Because time cannot eat my lunch without my permission.
I solemnly declare a day of freedom from.
From laundry
From dishes
From carpools
From washing of any kind.
From ought to’s, and should haves, and need to’s, and all those burdens we lay on ourselves with heavy words.
I declare a day of freedom to
To care
And wash
And drive
And clean the world and lives of those I love into a gentle peace of calm and orderly places.
Of light loads and easy roads and hands red with love
A day of I will, I want to, I’m going to, I did.
Because outside, results may be much the same. But inside, I will be much different.
For some reason it's double spaced. I don't know why. It wasn't where I brought it from. I'll have to do a little html investigating to figure out why. Have a great Day! It's still below 10 degrees here!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Photoshop
127. Photoshop. I'm in love. The extended family picture is coming along nicely. There is still a little bit of tweaking to be done, but there are places I can't even see what I've done unless I turn off a layer. Hee Hee! I showed it to Mr. C. He couldn't find the photoshopped stuff either. Then he tried to downplay my magnificent achievement. I wouldn't let him. I rock.
128. Today's photoshop tutorial. How to make fake water. This is what Monticello might look like if it were on the water. (I know, this is very rough, the water color is off, and the ripples are awful. Also, buildings with horizontal lines don't blur well. But it was fun to do. And I learned something.)
128. Today's photoshop tutorial. How to make fake water. This is what Monticello might look like if it were on the water. (I know, this is very rough, the water color is off, and the ripples are awful. Also, buildings with horizontal lines don't blur well. But it was fun to do. And I learned something.)
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